
A
year or so before this 1980 card came into my possession, I read a
description of the title character in Louis L'Amour's novel,
Hondo,
that may have changed my life. Hondo, this tan, unshaven,
high-cheekboned guy who slept on the ground under the stars and engaged
in knife fights with bloodthirsty Apaches and occasionally swooped down
from parched mesas to save defenseless women out on the most brutal
fringes of the 19th century American West, was characterized at one
point in the narrative as a loner. I clearly remember what I thought
upon reading this:
when I grow up I want to be a loner. It
seemed tough and mysterious. You'd occasionally ride into town for your
grim, manly supplies and people would look at you with awe, respect,
even envy.
Anyway, now I'm a 38-year-old part-time proofreader
who yesterday sat alone in the company cafeteria for an excruciating
five minutes near tables of people sitting in groups or at least pairs
at a surprise baby shower for a coworker. When she was brought in by
her manager I participated in the tepid corporate cheer--"Surprise!"--by
briefly affixing a rigor-mortis smile to my face. A few moments later,
one of the planners of the party mentioned something about starting up
some games, so I left the room as quickly and unobtrusively as
possible. I like to think I'm invisible but how invisible is a
bespectacled 6'2", 200-pound man who badly needs a haircut? Probably
most people didn't notice my exit, having plenty of other better things
to think about, but perhaps some did notice, and I doubt they gazed at
me with awe, respect, and envy.
But back to my youth. By a year or so after reading
Hondo,
I had begun junior high and was beginning to experience the realistic
dimensions of the life of a loner. I did poorly in school, my friends
dwindled to a few misfits that I played chess with in the library, the
basketball team I was on lost every game. Maybe I'll delve into it all
in much greater depth some day when I'm not running late to my
proofreading job, as I am now, so for now all I'll say is that Kent
Tekulve, who wore glasses and threw underhand and didn't seem to have
anything at all in common with the other loud and wild disco-dancing
coke-snorting home-run smashing "We Are Family" World Champion Pirates,
was one of my favorite players ever. I sincerely wish I had time to
write more about him, but as the television advertisement that uses the
theme of living life to the fullest to sell intoxicants puts it,
life beckons. I have to go take that train to my cubicle.
Great essay, BTW.
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