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Pregame notes: When I was a kid I was always looking for a way to dissolve into made-up worlds. That I never tried “Play Ball,” which was part of the back of each 1978 Topps baseball card, doesn’t reflect well on the game. If an isolated, day-dreaming, baseball-loving, baseball-card-collecting kid didn’t play the game, who the hell would?
But in retrospect I applaud the inclusion of the game, as it suggested that the cards were not to be sealed under protective plastic—a trend that took hold on a widespread basis after my years of collecting—but to be touched and handled and played with.
So I’ll play. Thirty years later, I'll play.
Below are the rules, courtesy of one of the 1978 cards previously profiled on Cardboard Gods. (Pregame Trivia Question: Can you name the player featured on the rule-giving card?)
I will be breaking the primary rule ("Played by two") by playing solitaire. I will also ignore the coin toss rule. I know which of my imaginary teams is the home team and don't need a coin toss to tell me.
I will describe the action in a running line-score below. The outcome of each at-bat is followed by the parenthetical listing of the player whose card provided the outcome. I think it’s important to keep in mind when perusing the results below that the players listed are not participants in the imagined game but the gods that determine the path of that game. The cards are all 1978 cards that have been profiled on Cardboard Gods; the earlier cards have been jostled from their chronological order and appear randomly (some time ago when I was leafing through my stack of written-about cards I dropped them and they scattered all over the floor), while the more recent ones were pulled from the pile in the order they appeared on this site.
Now, with all that out of the way, please rise for the singing of This Land Is Your Land.
Thank you. Play Ball!
Top of First, Hate Batting, Tied 0-0
1. Base on Balls (Wilbur Wood), runner on first.
2. Strikeout (Willie Stargell)
3. Single (Jim Rice), runners on first and second.
4. Ground Out (George Foster), double play.
0 run, 1 hit, 0 errors, 1 LOB. Hate 0, Love 0.
Bottom of First, Love Batting, Tied 0-0
1. Triple (Pete LaCock)
2. Double (Lenny Randle), run scores
3. Fly Out (Bo McLaughlin)
4. Single (Bill Buckner), run scores
5. Strikeout (Rich Dauer)
6. Ground Out (Dale Murray)
2 runs, 3 hits, 0 errors, 1 LOB. Hate 0, Love 2.
First inning notes: I want to talk about the team names, but first let me say how pleased I am that the trio of gods delivering the first runs of the game for Love are Pete LaCock, Lenny Randle, and Bill Buckner. Who better? Anyway, when I was a kid my made-up games often involved the development of entire leagues populated by teams filled with individual personalities. But occasionally I kept it simpler. I once spent hours playing handball in our living room with a balloon, and I never developed the imagined entities in opposition to one another beyond “left hand versus right hand.” I based the naming of the two teams battling it out in my enactment of “Play Ball” on that lackluster afternoon’s battle between hands and on the memorable monologues on the very same battle by the Robert Mitchum character in Night of the Hunter and Radio Raheem in Do the Right Thing. Here’s the latter character's version of the speech:
Let me tell you the story of “Right Hand, Left Hand.” It’s a tale of good and evil. Hate: It was with this hand that Cain iced his brother. Love: These five fingers, they go straight to the soul of man. The right hand: the hand of love. The story of life is this: Static. One hand is always fighting the other hand; and the left hand is kicking much ass. I mean, it looks like the right hand, Love, is finished. But, hold on, stop the presses, the right hand is coming back. Yeah, he got the left hand on the ropes, now, that's right. Ooh, it’s the devastating right and Hate is hurt, he’s down. Left-Hand Hate K.O.ed by Love.
Top of Second, Hate Batting, Behind 0-2
5. Single (Bobby Bonds), runner on first
6. Home run (Garry Templeton), two runs score
7. Fly Out (J.R. Richard)
8. Fly Out (Lyman Bostock)
9. Fly Out (Mario Guerrerro)
2 runs, 2 hits, 0 errors, 0 LOB. Hate 2, Love 2.
Bottom of Second, Love Batting, Tied 2-2
7. Fly Out (Bob Bailor)
8. Strikeout (Grant Jackson)
9. Double (Dave Johnson), runner on second
1. Base on Balls (Rollie Fingers), runners on first and second
2. Fly Out (Paul Lindblad)
0 runs, 1 hit, 0 errors, 2 LOB. Hate 2, Love 2.
Second inning notes: One of the problems you notice immediately with “Play Ball” is that there is no guidance on even the most simple shadings of the game of baseball. For example, if there is a runner on first and the next card displays “Ground Out,” is the “Ground Out” a double play? Similarly, if there is a runner on first and the next card is a “Single,” does the runner on first advance to second or to third? I briefly considered introducing some sort of random-choice device into the game to decide on these matters, but nowhere in the rules of “Play Ball” does it suggest that such alterations be made. Besides, if the playing of this game is in part a tribute to all the many hours I spent as a kid playing made-up games, I should just handle this issue the way I would have handled it then—by nudging every close call toward the team I wanted to win. In my favorite game, backyard roofball, this practice manifested itself on certain long ricochets of the tennis ball off the ridged roof. If the “player” pursuing the drive was a member of the team I wanted to win (generally a collection of gutty, limping has-beens and never-weres who were staging an improbable last-chance drive toward glory) I would run as hard as possible and even dive; if the “player” was on the opposition (generally a conglomerate of chiseled automatons with a collective history of monotonous and featureless league domination) I’d maybe hope the ball would tick off my fingers for a thrilling, game-changing triple. The funny thing is, I probably made as many if not more tough catches when I wasn’t trying than when I was, and anyway I never wanted to push things too far in favor of one imaginary team, knowing that in doing so I’d strip the whole time-consuming pursuit of the illusion of drama, and hence meaning. But for “Play Ball” I decided to keep it simple and make one rule to turn all gray areas black and white. At the risk of sounding trite, here it is: When in doubt, go with Love.
Top of Third, Hate Batting, Tied 2-2
1. Double (Davey Lopes), runner on second
2. Base on Balls (Johnny Oates), runners on first and second
3. Fly Out (Champ Summers)
4. Single (Sparky Lyle), runners on first, second, and third
5. Single (Darrell Evans), run scores
6. Fly Out (Tom Burgmeier)
7. Fly Out (Bob Stanley)
1 runs, 3 hits, 0 errors, 3 LOB. Hate 3, Love 2.
Bottom of Third, Love Batting, Behind 2-3
3. Strikeout (Sixto Lezcano)
4. Base on Balls (Skip Jutze)
5. Single (Greg Minton), runner on first
6. Fly Out (Mike Paxton)
7. Fly Out (Von Joshua)
0 runs, 1 hit, 0 errors, 1 LOB. Hate 3, Love 2.
Third inning notes: So Hate takes the lead, despite my rule making Hate into a plodding station-to-station team incapable of scoring from second on a single or from third on a flyout (or, as in the first inning, from avoiding the double play). Hate might win! But I’m already running out of previously profiled 1978 cards, and for some reason this actually makes me sort of hopeful. I’ve been writing about these cards for a year and a half, and the game isn't even official. There’s plenty of Ball left to Play. Anything can happen. And maybe Love will get a hand from Gene Pentz, whose card provided the inspiration for this whole endeavor. Only a few more cards to go until I get to his card, the one card whose outcome I already know, Pentz ready to provide that node of offensive attack that is as vitally important as it is mundane. The walk! As we head to the fourth inning, let us pray for Pentz to plant the seeds of a rally for Love.
Top of Fourth, Hate Batting, Ahead 3-2
8. Ground Out (Joe Niekro)
9. Ground Out (Carl Yastrzemski)
1. Single (Stan Bahnsen), runner on first
2. Single (Ron Schueler), runners on first and second
3. Single (Brian Downing), run scores (note: even a Hate-handicapped station-to-station team will generally score from second on a two-out single), runners on first and third
4. Ground Out (Steve Garvey)
1 run, 3 hits, 2 LOB. Hate 4, Love 2
Bottom of Fourth, Love Batting, Behind 2-4
8. Base on Balls (Gene Pentz), runner on first
9. Foul Out (Barry Bonnell)
1. Base on Balls (Ivan DeJesus), runners on first and second
2. Ground Out (Jack Clark), runners on second and third
3. Home run (Jim Colborn), three runs score
4. Triple (Jerry Koosman), runner on third
5. Base on Balls (Brian Asselstine), runners on first and third
6. Fly Out (Chris Speier)
3 runs, 2 hits, 2 LOB. Love 5, Hate 4
Top of Fifth, Hate Batting, Behind 4-5
5. Foul Out (Steve Dunning)
6. Double (John Scott), runner on second
7. Fly Out (Lee Mazzilli), runner on second
8. Fly Out (Oscar Gamble)
0 runs, 1 hit, 1 LOB. Love 5, Hate 4
Bottom of Fifth, Love Batting, Ahead 5-4
7. Strikeout (Johnnie LeMaster)
8. Single (Bill Plummer), runner on first
(note: Play will resume upon the next celebration of a 1978 card.)
when i was a kid I remember playing baseball with a deck of cards, like a regular deck, but it had baseball results on it...walk, strikeout, double, home run, flyout...that kind of thing. It was apparently marketed by the same company that also sold the packs of Old Maid and Mother Goose and other kids card games and they were all displayed together. I lost that card game when I was maybe 10 or 11 years old and when I go to Toys R Us or KayBee Toys or Target or Walmart or some mom and pop shop, i still look for that card game. it's like i'm looking for my youth....
hmmmm, maybe i should try e-Bay. You can buy anything there.....why not your youth?
Go Love!!!
rgds
will
There's actually a blog linked in the sidebar (gotta scroll down a bit; it's with the "The World Is Wide" links) called "I found my childhood on ebay."
Earlier this year, I bought (via eBay) a 1974 Topps Traded set (sample card here: http://tinyurl.com/2tkgwk) for my older brother's birthday. 1974 was the first year of cards I "inherited" from my older brothers when I was a kid (the cards were from 1974-1980). I love that era of cards.
I stopped collecting in 1992, and over the last few years I got rid of nearly all my cards. This site is a daily reminder of why I shouldn't have done that.
Anyway, when I bought the 1974 set for my brother -- I was inspired by this wonderful story: http://tinyurl.com/yopc5q -- I wanted to get a binder and some plastic sheets in which to put the cards, so I strolled down to my local baseball card shop. While in the shop, I made the impulsive decision to start collecting again.
I am sticking strictly to Topps, and mostly the regular cards (not all of this insert, specialty crap that helped drive me away years ago).
I still have a bunch of Eddie Murray cards, so in the honor of this game, I looked at the back of his card. Alas, it is a strikeout. I have two of these rookie cards -- the other is at my desk at work -- so I'll check the back of that tomorrow. Was the back of each player consistent, I wonder, or was each player stuck with his outcome?
I must say, opening the packs is still as cool and exhilarating at 31 as it was at 9 years old! I love being "back", and I wish I never left.
"Was the back of each player consistent...?"
My guess is yeah. I must have some 1978 doubles, though, so I'll check and see if they had different Play Ball results for the same player.
I just checked my 2nd 1978 Topps Eddie Murray and it seems the promising rookie's fate is resigned to a stirkeout.
I used to play imaginary baseball games in my backyard, pitching a tennis baseball at our brick chimney. I'd pitch for both teams, one of which was always the Dodgers, and outcomes of at-bats, er, plate appearances, were totally at my sole discretion. Sometimes I let the count run out to its inevitable conclusion, often hitter's counts were put into play, and woe to any batter that got behind. I never pitched a no-hitter, but the Dodgers also went undefeated.
Since I was apparently quite lonely but not lacking idle time, I also held an imaginary placekickers contest, a single-elimination tournament, involving a tee, nerf-football (the yard was small enough to require a limited-flight ball), a reasonably small field goal target, and me kicking with either foot and in either style (there were still straight-ahead kickers in those days) to match the real-life kicker being emulated. I think each round was best of ten, ties played out until there was a miss. To pad out a 32-man field, a few college kickers of the day were thrown in, which was where the only left-footed, straight-ahead kicker came from.
If I was growing up today, I'd probably be a hopeless sports video-game addict.
In trying to be as "realistic" as possible, what I used for rules is that if say, Davey Lopes' card (which was a double) was played, I would assume that was Davey on second base. So if there was a single after that, I would figure that Lopes would score. But if the man on base came from a pitcher's card or Johnny Oates' card, then that runner would be one base at a time.
Also, to show you how much of a geek I was, I owned more than 400 cards from 1978 ... so I had far more cards than what was needed for batting results. So, I would take the cards that weren't used for batting, and actually pick out a "defense" consisting of the first catcher I would randomly find, the first shortstop, and so on.
I would even form them into a diamond on the carpet with the infielders, and put the outfielders behind them, as they would be positioned on a field. And that would help with figuring out ground ball and fly ball results. If, say, Ozzie Smith or Mark Belanger was the shortstop, double plays would be turned. If an average defensive shortstop, like Bill Russell, was on the field, then I would look at how fast the runner was. If Dave Parker was in right field, everyone would be station to station, including Lopes. Ridiculous?? Sure. Hey, I was a bored kid who loved baseball.
I think my Dad heard me in my room giving the play-by-play to one of those "games", because that Christmas, I pulled off the wrapping paper and found myself face-to-face with Strat-O-Matic baseball. Needless to say, I almost would have been content if all future Christmases had somehow been abolished -- I had the game of all games. And, of course, I still play baseball sims today to an unhealthy degree. It all started with little games with baseball cards, like "PLAY BALL. Played by Two."
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